Novel Drama Chapter 20 - Half of My Soul
Chapter 20 - Half of My Soul
Friday, April 12th. Magnus Mansion. Meeting room, 2:25 p.m.
ALEXEI
—I don't have to say that now more than ever we have to be on our guard, do I? — I make sure to
observe everyone in the room when speaking, they're all there except Fredek, which I find strange. The
situation has become more delicate with the last altercation we had, we can't risk dropping our
vigilance.
—What do you expect us to do? — Nikon is the first to intervene.
—For now, I want you to pick up everything you need, we'll move to Oriol's facility for a while.
—With all the men? — Adrik questions.
—Yes, we'll need full security, as well as the equipment. I need Jackson and Sasha to take care of that
as soon as possible.
—Derek's there, Magnus — Yaakov's informing me after checking a message on his phone.
—Good —I reluctantly accept. I certainly didn't want to leave Xander alone in that house, but an
organization can't operate without its leader, and I mustn't neglect my responsibilities at this time, now
that a war has been declared.
Xander didn't like the idea of me having to leave either, so he locked himself in the bathroom for a long
time without letting me in. By the time he came out, his eyes were red and swollen, but eventually
agreed as long as it was for hours, not days. And that's precisely what I'm going to do.
To my relief, the bond is now completely active.
Already the effect of the suppressors they made him take are out of his system and the communication
between us can happen without any problem... That is, if he were willing to talk. I thought that via our
mind bond he would, but he didn't. Things weren't at all what I expected. Instead of words, he uses
images.
It's a little confusing if you don't know the thread of the conversation, but I got the hang of it fast, thank
goodness. Afraid to leave him alone, I sent Derek along with four of my best men for his protection. I
still don't completely trust Angelo, he's family to fucking Dimitri. Can you blame me?
—Lev, I need you to please make sure everything is properly packed and safely transported to the
trucks. You have a good eye for that.
—Yes, Alex. No problem.
—I don't know how long we'll be staying in Oriol, so make sure you don't forget anything.
—It's a pity there's no swimming pool at that headquarters — Nikon says with honest disappointment
—. I love the way a certain person's swimsuit looks — wagging the eyebrows suggestively and jokingly
nudging Adrik in the side. novelbin
—Fuck, behave yourself. Will you? — Adrik tries to tell him quietly, although we all hear it perfectly. I
roll my eyes, ignoring them as best I can, as I take a sip of the whiskey in front of me.
—What shall we do now with the lack of a programmer? — My cousin leans over and puts the elbows
on the desk —. Do you want me to get one here or at Oriol?
—That's right, Alex — Lev seconds him —. Now, without Reiji, we need one — he's silent for a moment
while biting his lower lip nervously —. And well... I doubt Xander can do it, right?
Yes, as soon as I arrived, I told them the good news and the bad news, leaving out the most important
details.
I just explained the injuries, the trauma, and Angelo Dalaras' involvement in all of this. The sensitive
part was between me and Yaakov.
That is why my decision to temporarily move the organization to Oriol's facility, and the way I am
ordering things done, will make protection there three times as effective as it is here.
I will spare no effort, time, or money now that I have Xander with me again, under my wing and I will
not allow myself to fail. Not again.
—Definitely not — I say, sharp and firm —. We'll leave Xander out of this and as far away from this
situation as possible. He's suffered enough.
—So. Here or there? — Yaakov asks again.
—Wherever, as long as he knows how to do the job and is someone we can trust.
—I know someone — Adrik steps forward, taking the phone out of his trouser pocket —. He's not as
talented as Xander, but he's quite competent. He was in the army for a couple of years and learned a
few tricks. I can call him if you want, his name is Serge.
—As long as it meets the requirements I've given you, it's fine. I'll put you in charge then.
—My baby boy will need something from here? — Lev's requesting. I think a little bit before answering.
The things that were bought for him that day are still packed, so it would only be a matter of putting
them on the truck and that's it. I will need his toiletries, the computer and other electronic equipment
and... I smile.
—Yes, the ball of yarn on steroids.
A pair of hours later, I'm walking through the halls making sure everyone's working. Satisfied to see
The Gang diligently doing their job, I walk down the stairs to the Arsenal.
Yaakov informed me that Fredek was not very happy with the decision I made regarding Reiji. He tried,
by all means, to prevent his fate from being sealed, even going so far as to threaten Adrik, but in the
end, it was unavoidable. It was an order that had to be carried out, and there was no way I could
change my mind.
By the time I arrive, I knock on the door to announce myself without receiving a response, so I take the
knob and turn it to get in. The order for the quick transfer to Oriol came, as he is packing everything he
considers necessary to take in boxes. He doesn't even turn around to see who he is, although I'm sure
he already knows.
—Fred — I start to say cautiously, closing the door behind me.
—Don't talk to me — he interrupts me sharply.
I sigh and run a hand through my hair, frustrated at his attitude. Yes, I was sure he would not agree
with my decision, but I am also confident that no matter what I do, he will always judge me. It has been
that way since Yurik's death and I fear it will be that way from now on.
—Come on, Fredek. Law of the ice again? — I'm complaining, the discomfort pounding on my tongue
—. I thought we were past this stage.
—You're a fucking arrogant bastard! — turns abruptly in my direction, causing a small black object to
fall to the floor. I just hope the fucking thing doesn't blow up.
—Fredek, stop it — I warn him rudely —. I don't expect you to agree with all my decisions, but I truly
don't want to go through this every time.
—You killed him, Alexei! — he screams, clutching the hands in fists at his side —. You shouldn't have
done it! What the fuck were you thinking?!
—Well, what the fuck do you expect me to do?! — I yell at him without being able to control myself —.
Oh, great Lord all-merciful! Tell me your great idea, say how bad I always do things and how I stink as
a big brother!
—Fuck you — grunts between the teeth, jaws clenched. He turns around and keeps putting things into
the boxes on the table, picking up the little black thing on the floor that thank God didn't explode,
completely ignoring me.
«Fuck», my line of thinking is completely limited right now. I'm angry, yes, but I'm also worried. Ever
since Xander showed up, I felt like there was a little progress in the relationship between me and my
brother. He was starting to talk to me more, answering my questions in more than three words, and I
sensed that we were getting closer again, just like before my father died. And now it's all gone down
the drain again.
—Fredek, listen to me...
—No, you listen to me, Alexei — he turns around again and points a finger at me, right in the center of
my chest —. You didn't have to kill him, there are better ways to do things. You can't just go around
shooting people every time they provoke you, Alexei. That's not how everything works in life!
—Fredek, you're not seeing the whole picture. There's a lot more behind this that you don't know — I
try to approach but he moves away from me quickly.
—Then explain it to me! — screams and I'm only seconds away from losing my patience —. Tell me
one valid reason why I should just fucking forget about this!
—He was raped! — The words are rushing out of my mouth —. The motherfucker of Dimitri raped him
again! Okay?! — now I'm the one clenching fists and screaming uncontrollably, spitting out the harsh
reality —. Is that what you wanted to hear?! Well, there you go, goddamn it!
By the time my lips close, I'm breathing heavily and a thin layer of sweat slowly spreads over my body.
Although, I can't register anything else but Fredek's stunned face at this moment.
His eyes are so wide open that his pupil seems ridiculously small and his Adam's apple is moving
rapidly. He reaches out with one hand, blindly looking for the table, and when he finds it, he holds on to
it as if his body had lost all strength and his life depended on it.
Unable to look at him any longer, I turn to face the wall with my hands on the waist, my head down, and
desperately trying to swallow the thick knot in my throat. I don't know how much time we spend in
silence until Fredek breaks it with his low, faltering voice.
—I'm sorry, Alexei — I'm about to leave when I hear him sobbing and the sound makes my feet feel like
they're inside cement blocks —. I could... I could have done something that day. I could have... Shit, I
don't know.
—It's not your fault, Fredek — I mumble wearily and still don't turn in his direction.
—But still, I should have acted — it gets quiet for a moment and that's when I turn around. He is sitting
on a stool, twisting the fingers of his hands on the lap, his head falling between his shoulders and thick,
abundant tears running down his cheeks.
Before I know what I am doing, I am rushing at him, holding him tightly in my arms, feeling his
shoulders tremble with tears and his hands clinging to my back through the fabric of my coat.
—Fredek, none of what happened is your fault, okay? — I whisper and he shivers, still crying and
wetting my shirt with tears —. All this got out of hand and if there's anyone to blame, it would be me...
—What? — He raises the face with a scowl between his eyebrows and sips through his nose —. What
are you talking about?
—Xander's my partner. It's my duty to protect and care for him. Letting him work for me wasn't a good
way to go, let alone have such dangerous enemies. I was incompetent and negligent... I should have
done a better job of looking after him.
—Are you kidding me? — amazement seeping through his crying —. Alex, you practically sent a squad
that day. There was no way of knowing something like that would happen. You did everything right, just
like the others. Only that Dimitri was better prepared.
—Yeah, well — my voice is low and hesitant —. I just hope Xander feels the same way — suddenly,
Fredek puts his trembling hands on my face, hollowing out my cheeks. The gesture takes me
completely by surprise, he hasn't done something like this in years.
—Xander loves you, Alexei. I'm sure he doesn't blame you either for everything that occurred — the
warmth and determination in his eyes is so deep that I don't doubt a word that came out of his mouth. I
smile, because it's better than crying, and I pull him back into my arms.
How I missed being so close to my brother. No matter how old he is or how much he's grown, in my
eyes he will always be that bright and cheerful little boy, fond of life, caring for nature. A little strange at
times, but sweet and passionate.
—I love you, Fred — I whisper and it feels good to be able to say those words to him after so much
tension between us —. I've never stopped loving you. You're my brother, I've always tried to do my best
for you, even though sometimes I know I'm failing and I have a shitty mood — we both laugh while
we're still holding each other —. I'm sorry for all the pain you've suffered, I'm sorry I wasn't closer to
you after Dad died, I'm sorry for everything.
—I love you too, Alex. And I apologize from blaming you — he's a little off and his eyes are watery
again —. I know it wasn't your fault, it's just... I was so hurt and I missed him. I still miss him so much.
I feel like I'm taking a weight off my back that's been there for years. I always remained powerless to
believe that Fredek blamed me for Yurik's death and although it was my mistake not to approach him
and try to talk about it, the pain in my chest kept growing.
But now his words make me feel as if my limbs were released from strong bonds and after a long
time... I'm free.
—I know, kiddo. I miss him too — We hugged for a while until the sound of my phone interrupted us. I
slowly lean back and leave a small kiss on his forehead. He smiles at me and rushes to wipe away the
rest of his tears with the back of the hands. The screen tells me that it is Yaakov who is calling me, so I
hurry to answer.
—Yes?
—"All set, Magnus. Where are you?".
—"With Fred, he has some things to pack.
—"Good. Would you like to go ahead? I'll take care of the rest. It's getting late. Xander's gonna be
pissed" — I'm laughing, even though I know he's right.
—Yeah, I'm coming — I hang up, say a quick goodbye to Fred and rush off to my car.
XANDER
Okay, I'm pissed. Alexei told me he was going out, but it's already night and he's not back yet and I've
had to deal with Derek's bad mood every time he asks me a question and I don't answer him with
words.
I was surprised to see him, I didn't think my Alpha would send him out to keep an eye on me, but I'm
glad he's here.
Although my reaction wasn't the best when he tried to hug me.
I had the mental block again, similar to when Yaakov held me, but fortunately Rosé intervened quickly
and explained the situation.
Without further details, thank God. I'm much better now that I'm back with Alexei, but when I'm alone
for a long time, my mind does its own thing and I keep coming back to that place again and again.
«You're dirty now, Xander».
All the suffering, all the pain, all the humiliation.
«I'll leave you completely broken, only then will you know that you really belong to me». Everything, I
repeat and repeat it all without ceasing.
«Come on, scream for me. Let your sweet cries of agony be with me when I go». And it's even harder
when there's nothing to do in this house.
At least if I were at The Mansion I'd have my computer and find a way to distract myself. But here I
have nothing and the only thing I can do is help Rosé prepare dinner. And that, well... Doesn't help
much.
—Fuck, stop that. Will you? — Derek is complaining for the fourteenth time.
I look at him with uneasiness as I don't know what he's talking about. Fortunately I don't have to waste
time writing to him to explain, since he gets ahead of me.
—You always do that when you're anxious. You constantly bite your thumbnail and walk around in
circles. He must be on his way by now, you know? — he says, sullen and in a bad mood —. You're the
only one who wants to see him anyway — he ends up in such a low whisper that I can hardly hear him.
We're both in the backyard of Angelo's house. Derek is sitting on the floor, resting his back on a small
dolphin-shaped fountain.
I'm standing, doing exactly what he said, moving back and forth as I unconsciously pout and bite the tip
of my thumb. I can't help it, it's an old habit.
—I can call him if you want, but I assure you... — His words are interrupted when suddenly we hear a
vehicle parked in front of the house.
I quickly turn and run to the front, with Derek following closely at my footstep. By the time we are there,
I am breathing heavily and my heart is racing wildly as I see Magnus getting out of his truck and
approaching with a sensual smile on his perfect face.
—Exercising, kitty? — mocks my agitated state, pointing at my unkempt clothes and the locks of hair
sticking to my forehead from the sweat. I take my middle finger out and pout, before he holds me in his
arms and carries me, princess style.
I try to stay mad at him for taking so long, but just then he takes possession of my lips in a tender,
sweet kiss, which is enough to make me melt and forget everything, even my name.
—I'm sorry, kitty — whispers over my mouth and his deep voice electrifies my whole body —. I didn't
mean to take so long. Are you mad at me? — I nod and use my index finger and thumb to signal a little.
He laughs and places a brief kiss on my lips again —. Well, I'll be sure to reward you later. But right
now, I want you to go inside and get ready to leave, while I talk to Derek. Okay? — My eyes are wide
open with surprise. Go? Where?
I want to ask him, but I honestly don't care, as long as it's with him. I kiss him again after he leaves me
on the floor and I rush into the house. I hurry into the room, even though I have nothing to pack,
nothing here belongs to me. So I just speed up to take a quick shower and having no choice, I put back
the clothes I had before.
I grimace at the need to put on shoes, but having no choice, I end up doing so. I grab the black book
from the table and race out of the room. Rosé is waiting for me on the doorstep with one of her knowing
smiles.
—I notice that you're leaving — she says, pointing a thumb over her shoulder at Alexei and Derek,
standing next to the truck, being surrounded by the other henchmen. I nod and she continues —. It was
nice to have you here with us, Xander. It's a shame Mr. Dalaras isn't here to see you go, but I'll be sure
to let him know. I hope everything works out for you. Alexei seems like a good Alpha.
I open the notebook and write: "He's the best. Thank you very much for everything, Rosé. I don't know
how to repay you and Angelo for everything you've done for me.
I'm truly grateful" and show it to her. She reads quickly and smiles again.
—Nonsense. Our reward is that you are well and happy — Magnus comes to us and wraps one of his
arms around my waist.
—Time to go, kitty — and kisses me on the cheek. I nod and wave goodbye to Rosé, I'd like to hug her,
but...
The henchmen move quickly around us, occupying the other van, Magnus opens the passenger door
of his and helps me up. He takes his time putting on my belt, kisses me on the mouth gently, and
closes the door, circling the van to take a seat behind the wheel.
—We'll go to one of our facilities a little far from here, kitty — lets me know by rotating the key and
starting the vehicle —. You can take some time to sleep if you want, I'll let you know once we've
arrived.
I open the notebook and write: "What about Cooky and our stuff?", and show it to him. He smiles
before answering.
—Calm down, your son is in good hands — laughs and infects me with the gesture —. All our things
are being transported, so you have nothing to worry about.
I hold the notebook unsure and write, "Are you sure you want to take me?" and show it to him. I know,
I'm thinking about the whole thing a lot. But my self-esteem is at rock bottom right now, and I'm having
a hard time battling all the turbulent, shadowy thoughts that have taken over my mind lately.
«You are alone. You're dirty. You're broken».
—I told you to stop imagining things — Holds my hand, interlacing our fingers —. I love you, I won't get
tired of repeating it. You are the most beautiful being my eyes have ever seen, you are the one I wish
to wake up with every morning, everything that is mine is yours — he kisses the back of my hand
before adding —. You're half my soul, Xander.
My heart swells so much that I'm afraid the wind will blow it away. Magnus always knows what and how
to say something to make me feel like the most valuable and precious being in the world. Making our
special gesture, I touch my chest with one finger at the level of my heart, then I lean over to do the
same with his, as I extend my palm to feel his heartbeat. I love doing that.
—Perfect, kitty — smiles—. Now, sleep. I'll wake you up when we get to our temporary home.