Chapter 399: Tough Love
Astrid's POV
The world outside my dreams pulled me back slowly, the haze of sleep clinging to me as I stirred awake.
Something was missing, though. I reached out instinctively to the empty space beside me, my fingers brushing against the cool sheets where Killian should have been.
I blinked, still disoriented, as I pushed myself up. The room was dim, the soft glow of moonlight streaming through the windows.
My eyes adjusted slowly, and then I saw him-Killian, standing on the terrace just outside, his broad back turned to me.
His posture was rigid, his hands gripping the railing as though it were the only thing keeping him grounded.
Yawning, I stretched, rolling my shoulders to shake off the remnants of sleep.
The cool air hit me as I stepped onto the terrace and I instantly wrapped my arms around myself.
"Killian," I called softly, my voice still hoarse from sleep. He didn't turn, didn't acknowledge me at first.
His head hung low, the tension radiating from him unmistakable.
I closed the distance between us, placing a gentle hand on his arm. "What's wrong?" I asked, my worry spilling into my voice.
Killian finally turned to look at me. He forced a smile on his face, that looked quite broken. "What are you doing here? You should go back and sleep," he muttered, faking a smile to push me away.
"I can't sleep. I'm not used to sleeping beside an empty space," I muttered as I touched the railing and stood beside him.
"What's wrong?" I asked directly into his eyes, leaving him no room for avoiding
me.
He didn't respond immediately. The silence stretched between us, broken only by the faint rustle of leaves in the wind.
Finally, he let out a shaky breath, his knuckles whitening as he gripped the railing tighter.
"I can't stop thinking about her," he said, his voice raw, almost unrecognizable.
"Your mother?" I asked gently, already knowing the answer.
He nodded, his shoulders trembling slightly. "She's gone, Astrid. She's... gone." His voice cracked, and my chest tightened at the sound.
I placed a hand on his shoulder and looked at him softly, reminding him that he doesn't need to be strong beside me.
He turned to me suddenly, and the sight of his tear-streaked face stole the breath from my lungs.
Killian, the man who had always been my rock, my unshakable anchor, looked utterly broken.
“I should have—” His voice broke again, and he turned away, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "I should have fixed things with her. I should have
"Killian," I murmured, stepping closer.
He shook his head, cutting me off. "I hated her for so long, Astrid. I held onto every mistake she ever made, every hurt she ever caused. And
now now she's gone, and ICan't fix it."
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I swallowed hard, knowing exactly how he is feeling right now.
I also went through that same pain when my father died. Like him, I was so
caught up with my own hatred, refusing to forgive, wasting all the chances I had to just enjoy time with my father.
The raw pain in his voice made my heart ache. I reached out, wrapping my arms around him from behind, resting my cheek against his broad back.
He stiffened at first, but then he turned, burying his face in my shoulder. His strong arms clung to me tightly, as though letting go would break him entirely.
"I was so angry," he whispered, his voice muffled against my neck. "So angry at her for everything she'd done +didn't see her for who she was I didn't give her a chance to make things right."
Tears wet my shoulder as his sobs grew louder, the weight of his grief crashing over him like a tidal wave.
"I always saw her as a villain," he choked out. "Every decision she made... I thought it was selfish, calculated. But what if... what if I was wrong?"
"You weren't entirely wrong," I said softly, stroking his hair as he cried. "But you weren't entirely right either Still, none of it were your fault. She made mistakes, Killian, but she also made a choice in the end. She chose to save us. To save you."
He pulled back slightly, just enough to look into my eyes. His golden gaze was bloodshot, his face streaked with tears.
"She wanted to reconcile with me, Astrid," he said, his voice breaking again. “I see that now. And I didn't let her. I wasted so much time-time I'll never get back."
"You didn't know," I said gently, cupping his face in my hands. "You couldn't have known."
Unlike my father, Rowena took a completely different approach to get close to Killian.
Instead of asking for forgiveness like my father did and directly trying her best to make it up to her son, Rowena used tough love until the end.
She played us into thinking that she was doing that all because of her schemes when in truth, she was actually doing those things for her son.
If we had known, if she hadn't played things that way we wouldn't have treated her like a threat and a traitor.
"Rowena knows you were hurt. But in the end, she made a choice that showed how much she loved you. That counts for something, doesn't it?" I mumbled to his
ear.
Killian nodded slowly, his breath hitching as he tried to regain control. "It doesn't make it easier," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.noveldrama
"No," I agreed, my voice soft. "It doesn't. But you don't have to carry all of this alone. I'm here. Always."
He pulled me into another embrace, his face pressed against my neck as his tears soaked into my skin.
We stood there in silence, the moonlight casting its pale glow over us as Killian shed the tears he had kept buried for too long.
For the first time in a long while, I felt his walls come down completely. And though
it broke my heart to see him like this, I held him tighter, hoping he could feel how deeply he was loved.
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