Novel Drama Chapter 375
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It was good to have it all out in the open, but still with every word I felt I disappointed her more and more. The only thing I never wanted to do was to disappoint her. Not just because she was my mate. I honestly think if I would have to pick a chosen mate, she would still be the only one I could have ever fallen in love with. She is so perfect for me that I‘ sometimes don’t understand why we are each other’s second chance
mates.
It means David was better suited to her than I was. It was always an afterthought, though. Something that popped up in the moments when I realized how perfect she was for me. I know part of her wish to be David’s mate, David’s Luna stemmed from her will to help the Blood Moon pack, her pack, the pack where she grew up was going to do better. Even as the Queen, she could have helped the BloodMoon pack Now that I ruined her chances at that, I suddenly felt the weight of only being her second chance made weight me down.
Being pitied never felt good, still, I was more than ready to be faced with Ayla’s pity. Or with her anger for absolving the pack she wanted to rescue. Not with the fragile determination she had when she told me she needed to tell me something. Like she was sitting on a huge secret without knowing what letting us all in on the secret would do to us.
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When she was done telling us about how she experienced her time in a coma. I understood what worried her. As wolves, you get taught that the Moon Goddess herself handpicks the one wolf that is perfect for you. To learn it is not an exact science. To hear that not only does your compatibility change depending on how you grow and evolve as a person. But that, she sometimes picked the second–best choice for you. because of what it could mean for the pack or the kingdom. Or whatever she figured needed the help of a specific couple. It was jarring, I have always been big on traditions and making offerings to the Moon Goddess.
“How are you feeling about all of this, Griff?” Ayla asked me and I know what she meant, she must be afraid that her revelations changed something for me. Made me feel less sure, or maybe even disappointed in my faith. In my love for the Mood Goddess and our cultures. All I hear though is that I am not just her second chance mate. I am the most perfect wolf out there for her. How can I blame Selene for wanting Ayla to save a pack that was on the brink of ruin for so long? Like Ayla said, it’s not like I would have been unhappy if I found my first fated mate. I would not know what I could have had with Ayla.
Knowing I have done enough to be worthy of her in the end, finding out that with what I have done. How I lived my life only made me an event better, even more perfect mate, for he is the biggest compliment I will ever get. If anything, it took a weight off my shoulders.
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It has been three weeks since Ayla’s family was over, three weeks since I
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learned the truth about how being mates works. Things were slowly getting better, for the two of us. And for the people depending on us. Ayla had gotten back to her Luna and Queen training. Part–time, though, because she made sure to see a werewolf therapist every week and go to physical therapy on all the other weekdays.
We still kept our promise to make sure we took the weekends off to have time for each other. Those weekends were bittersweet. Being able to just spend time with her was amazing. I loved being able to spend time with them, not having to worry about anything. It didn’t matter if we would just spend the entire weekend staying in. Going on dates, the two of us, or if we spend time with our friends and families. It was always a good time, reminding us both of how life used to be before all of this:
One thing was becoming a struggle though, I was unsure how long I could keep holding back on this attraction I still had towards her. The urge to mark her as mine was always on my mind. I still did not want to bother her with it. David had told me she planned to complete the mating process the day she would permanently move into the castle. Since she got back, I never heard from her about completing the mating process again. She would be the one to initiate intimacy between us. Yet she never said anything when I stopped at just kissing her.
Confirming for me that she did not want to go any further either. It was another Friday again, another weekend where we would spend all of our time together. Tonight was the first time she was going to try to shift. She asked me to come with her, to shift so that Conan could be there to support Willow. Of course, I said yes. Not only would I always do everything I could to support Ayla in a time like this. Conan was more
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than eager to see Willow again, too, and I could not blame him. He must have missed his mate as much as I missed mine.
Still, with Ayla does not officially break her connection with the White Oak pack to form a connection with the Silver Moon pack. And with us still not having completed the mating process means we still cannot mindlink. Which in turn means we cannot communicate when we are in our wolf form. A scary thought, because if something goes wrong now, there is no way she can let me know. And I still long to hear her beautiful voice in my mind, I want to be able to communicate with her no matter what, no matter the form we are in.. novelbin
After our morning coffee, I have been able to drown myself in work. Claiming I needed to make sure that I was able to take the weekend off. Ayla did not seem happy with it, she knows me so well that she probably knows I am lying. Maybe I should just confess to her what is on my mind soon. Just not a weekend that is so special and so scary as this weekend is. The sound of a text pulls me from my worries because the irony is that I haven’t gotten anything done with all this worrying.
“Griff, you seem to be too busy, and maybe I am better off shifting again for the first time with someone who wants the ability to mindlink me. Don’t rush your work, I think I am just going to ask Jessa. I love you Ayla XXX”
The text is sweet enough, but I do not miss the implication that I do not want to be able to mindlink with her. So I rush out of my office to go and find her and talk this over once and for all. There is no way I will let
my mate think I do not want to be with her in that way.
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